My Story Monday: The Hunt Family

It is sometimes hard for me to believe that just 5 years ago, our family consisted of just two of us.  My husband and I were so eager to have children, but after two years of struggling with infertility we wondered if this would ever be a possibility.  Our hearts had always been open to adoption, but the prospect of actually starting that journey seemed scary and uncertain.  There were so many options, so many choices, so many unknowns.  The length and cost of international adoption seemed almost impossible to us at the beginning, but as we prayed about our decision we found ourselves coming back to this option over and over again.  In January 2008, we took the plunge and began the journey to our son, Matthew, who was born in South Korea.

The moment we held Matthew in our arms, our fears and anxieties about adoption fell away.  He was ours, totally and completely!  We were so in love with our sweet little boy and knew without a doubt that we would be adding to our family through adoption again in the future.  I must admit, even I was surprised to find myself talking about another little one only a few months after Matthew came home!  When he had been home about a year, we started our second adoption. 

This time as we started the process, we started wondering if we might be more open to special needs than we had been the first time around.  We started learning about different medical conditions and prayed that the Lord would lead us to our child.  I spent many evenings reading about waiting children on different websites, and one day I saw a little face that instantly made me smile.  Our Nathan was listed on AAC’s waiting children website and he had the best chubby cheeks and spikey hair I had ever seen!  It did take a while for us to research his special needs and honestly the unknowns were pretty scary for us at times, but we knew he was to be our son and I’m so thankful that we didn’t let our fears get in the way of bringing him home.  We met Nathan in June 2011 and he is an absolute blessing to us!

In December of that year, I told Brad not to worry, I wouldn’t be bringing up adoption for quite a while as I knew our hands were full with two active little boys.

Then in January, I got this strange feeling that the Lord had another child for us.  We started talking about adopting a boy older than Matthew, but in the end the Lord made it very clear that our next little one would be a girl younger than Nathan!  We were thrilled to begin the journey to Hannah last February.  Hannah has the same special need as Nathan (they both have bilateral Microtia, a congenital ear deformity, and hearing loss) and we were so excited to travel to China in January to bring her home! 

Everything about our trip went more smoothly than we could have even hoped. With this being our third adoption, we knew that it might be an easy transition (we’d had one of those) or it might be a really difficult transition (we’d had one of those, too!).  We were amazed at how quickly Hannah took to us and began bonding with both of us.  The moment we arrived home, her two older brothers welcomed her with open arms into our family and they never looked back!

When she was first home, we had Hannah evaluated as it was obvious that she was delayed in her physical development.  At 18-months-old, she couldn’t get into a sitting position on her own, and couldn’t crawl or stand alone.  She had very low muscle tone and was assessed to be at a 6-9 month old level for her gross motor skills.  She is a very determined little one, though, and now just six months later, she is running around chasing her brothers, climbing on things, and she has been discharged from physical therapy!  This week she received her hearing aid and she has once again shocked us with her adaptability and resiliency.  We are so thankful for all of the progress she has made in the last few months and it has been a joy to see her personality emerge as she continues to settle into our family.  Hannah is a cuddly, kind, spunky, sweet, smart little girl and we are so glad that she is ours!

Life is very busy these days with a 4-year-old, 3-year-old, and 2-year-old, but we really wouldn’t have it any other way!  Hannah has fit seamlessly into our family and we can hardly remember life without her here.  We all love her so much!

I never could have imagined 5 years ago the incredible plan God had for our family.  We are blessed beyond words!

My Story Monday: A Mother's Heart

"Before He furnishes the abundant supply, we must first be made conscious of our emptiness, before he gives strength, we must be made to feel our weakness. Slow, painfully slow, are we to learn this lesson; and slower still to own our nothingness and take the place of helplessness before the Mighty One."

I love the above quote by A.W. Pink. That really is where I have been lately.

We have been wonderfully blessed with the addition of our new daughter into our family. She is a beautiful, kind, gentle, affectionate girl who is aware of other's feelings and is sensitive to them. She is generous, funny, adaptable, helpful and has a strong desire to fit in and do well in her new life situation.

So it doesn't really make sense to me that this should be difficult.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to add to our family through the miracle of adoption. I know that this stirring is something placed there by the Lord. Although I am smitten by the sweet babies waiting for a mommy's arms to hold them, and often long for those arms to be mine, it is the older waiting child that has really grabbed my heart; the ones that watch babies and younger children go home to forever families, knowing that they have little chance of that happening for themselves.

Before bringing K home I did lots of reading and research. I followed other family's journeys as they brought their teens home. In my heart and mind I was prepared!!

And truthfully, I am surprised by how hard it is.

It's hard because even with all my preparation our reality does not really meet my expectations.

After meeting our daughter a year before bringing her home and receiving information about her from others who had met her, I had created an image of who I thought she was. Now that we have her home I realize that although my expectations were not unrealistic they did not do a good job of describing who our daughter is.

I expected that like other children I had read about she might have difficulty giving and receiving affection. I had imagined us cautiously showing her affection, starting with a small kiss on the head at bedtime and then marveling several months down the road when she had progressed to a place where we could give her a warm hug, a kiss on the cheek and tell her how much we love her.

Instead our daughter is very affectionate; sometimes indiscriminately so. She will hug most people she meets in a social setting, even if they are not people we know well. She seeks out physical affection throughout the day and often will compete with the younger children for mine or with me for my husband's. She wants tight embraces with full mouth kisses several times throughout the day. If my husband or I should sit on the sofa we are like a magnet. For me, who tends to be less physically affectionate, this has been hard. With three small children that require a lot of physical affection, K's neediness in this area, and my own deep rooted character traits, I find myself struggling to meet the demands. I am unsure of where the balance lies and if and where there is a line that should be drawn. I do not want our daughter to ever feel any rejection from us, but I also want this to be an area in her life where she recognizes what is appropriate and what is not. I am finding out that this is a lot more difficult when your child is 13 rather than 4.    

I knew the language barrier would be hard. I knew that K would not learn as quickly as Levi did. I also knew that it would not be as easy to communicate through body language as it was with a smaller child. I expected that this would be quite frustrating to K.

What I didn't expect is how frustrating this would be to me.  I didn't realize how much time it would require to stop and explain conversations to her in ways that she could understand. I didn't anticipate feeling so impatient when a concept that I think should be understood after a certain amount of time is not. I didn't think it would be necessary for me to remind myself so many times throughout the day to be patient, to be kind and to take the time to teach the idea or words again. I didn't realize how helpless I would feel, seeing certain behaviors that I would like to work on, knowing that we do not yet possess the language to do that in any kind of helpful or constructive way.

I knew that there would be learned orphanage behavior that we would not want introduced to our younger children. I imagined myself facing each one with the intense compassion that I felt toward my daughter in all of my imaginings of her. I pictured myself dealing with each one constructively with a strong desire to help her work her way out of learned behaviors that were in no way her fault for having developed.

What I didn't expect was to find myself feeling angry when those negative behaviors directly impact our younger children. I didn't anticipate myself taking up such a strong defense on behalf of the children that I have already had opportunity to attach and bond so strongly to. I didn't think that I would have to remind myself not to allow these feelings to show on the outside, that each child was mine, equally loved and committed to, and that my responses always need to reflect that. I never imagined myself having to be reminded to view my daughter with the compassion that I so strongly felt going into this.

I knew that adding to our family and especially through an out of birth order adoption would change the dynamics in our home, after all we had already done this once. When we brought our son home I loved watching our little girls adapt to this new situation. I loved watching them welcome L as their brother. I loved seeing the different character traits this brought out in each of them as they built their relationship with him.
I didn't expect that this new experience would be so unlike our first. Bringing K home has now changed these newly formed relationships between the three younger children. This is hard to watch. There is a new level of sibling rivalry that has been brought about as the little ones compete for K's attention. With K having a need to fit in and to be accepted, being the newest addition, these dynamics provide a perfect opportunity to bring out more negative character traits as she plays into this situation. As a mother with a strong sense of protectiveness for her little ones, it again brings about situations where I have to remind myself to not respond instinctively, but to be fair to each child, recognizing that there is a history of learned behaviors that contribute to the ones that I now must deal with.

I expected that K would have institutional delays and that she would probably act much different than her "real" age. I thought it would be endearing, and it was; for a while.

I wasn't prepared for how that would look on an emotional level or in social settings. Even though cognitively, I know that she is delayed, and that this is to be expected, I find myself often expecting more, thinking she should respond in situations as a 13 year old would or at least close to that. I didn't anticipate that the behaviors that we would be dealing with would be very much like the ones we are dealing with in the smaller children and just how frustrated this would make me "feel."

I do not share any of this to bring discouragement to anyone in the process or who might be considering the adoption of an older child. I also hope that I do not reflect a complaining attitude or any regrets. I do not have any. Our daughter is an incredible blessing to our family, who in spite of all of the challenges, adds joy to our lives.

Parenting is hard work. Parenting a child who has faced rejection and hurts that most of us are unable to comprehend is even harder. Each of these children is in need of a love that is often beyond what we are able to give. They need a level of commitment that is unbreakable and parents who are willing to work through the unique challenges that their adoptions will bring.

I have received an incredible amount of help on this journey through Karen Purvis' book "The Connected Child" and especially through the bible study guide available on their website. In the introduction to this study we are reminded that it is our strongest human desire to belong and that our goal as parents should not only be to bring about right behavioral responses, but to have our children involved in connected relationships. The goal of achieving desired behavior in our children, and particularly in K would not be so difficult. She really does have a strong desire to please us. A goal of achieving desired behavior, while developing in her a strong sense of connectedness and belonging is a much more lofty goal. It is one that requires a much more concentrated effort.

As her parents we must be willing and able to do that hard work. A lot of the time, I feel incredibly inadequate.

I was given a beautiful reminder the other day when a visiting pastor to our church spoke on Matthew 11:28-30. He first recounted to us how Jesus, as a carpenter, would have had the distinct job of fashioning farming implements, including yokes. He told us how each yoke would be fashioned to be a perfect fit for the oxen that it was designed for. If used properly this yoke would then make the work easier and the oxen would more effectively accomplish the task that was required of it. If the oxen chose to fight against the yoke, regardless of it's perfect design, it would cause chafing and discomfort.

What a beautiful picture of the perfect design of our own life experiences. If we will allow them to work in the way that they are intended, rather than struggling against them, the Lord can work more effectively in and through us to accomplish His purposes for our lives.

I needed this reminder last week as I struggled with guilt and condemnation at my own shortcomings. I needed to be reminded that the Lord is not surprised at any of the ugliness that remains deeply rooted in my own character, but rather that He has fashioned this current situation to help bring forth the fruit or godly character that he desires to see there in its stead. How I pray that I will learn to fully cooperate with Him, allowing Him to change me into the wife, mother and friend that He wants me to be.


Trying to do the Lord's work in your own strength is the most confusing, exhausting, and tedious of all work. But when you are filled with the Holy Spirit, then the ministry of Jesus just flows out of you.
Corrie Ten Boom

My Story Monday: Jo Family

Family of Three, Two Months Later….

Tomorrow will mark two months since our precious son arrived home, into our arms. I have been meaning to write down thoughts, reflections, and a form of “thank you” for some time now.  However, now I really understand the reality of motherhood and all its joys, but also its constraints…. Hopefully some of you will understand.J  These thoughts are being shared because of the deep realization that none of this would be so sweet if were not for all of the love, support, and prayers of so many friends and family members.

            This journey of adoption has been truly life changing and one of the most wonderful decisions ever made in my life. With the risk of sounding really cheesy,  and plagiarizing a little from my sweet husband’s Valentine’s card to me,  it really is mind boggling that I can have both the gift of my husband, “the love of my life” and now, my son, “the joy of my life.”  Of course the decision was not one made overnight or made alone. For many years my heart was drawn towards “one day” adopting.  This was before Hyuk and I were ever even dating.  In our dating years, we spoke of a mutual desire to one day adopt, but also knew that we would not rule out the possibility of having children biologically.  I honestly thought it would be easier to have children biologically rather than through adoption.  Having worked in the field of adoption for a few years, the hurdles and costs, waits, and heartaches were even more real; and it seemed to be a far off dream for us than anything.  Then days, months, even years of marriage past and Hyuk and I began to wonder if adoption may be the only option for growing our family.  While it was a deep desire to begin the adoption process and would be a dream come true, it just seemed there would be no way we could make it happen, especially financially.  Days past and I began to feel stuck, maybe we would be that couple who just grows old together and strives to bless other families and children in ways other than parenthood.  Sometimes this seemed o.k., if it was really God’s plan for us, but the sadness began to sit in…  Tears were shed and prayers were said.  A great lesson was learned, never give up hope and never stop praying.  Waiting may be hard and the path may seem impossible, but nothing is impossible with God!  

It is now obvious that the Lord showed us a way that would honor Him, but would bless us incredibly!! It still amazes me how blessed we are.  After taking a huge leap of faith two years ago this month and beginning the process of adopting our son, even more patience, endurance, and love was learned.  We knew that the process could be tumultuous and unpredictable… Looking back, it really could have been much more than what we experienced.  Emotions are not always the easiest to prepare for, even when your head knows what might lay ahead, the heart doesn't always know how it will react.  Paperwork moved smoothly and there were not even problems with approvals on the US side…. Each step of the way relied on a great deal of faith in the provision of funds, my biggest worry at the time, but again, miraculously to me, the Lord provided!! Even after many hours of filling out grant applications and receiving denial after denial in the mail that we did not qualify for any assistance, the Lord provided in other ways.

  In November 2010, we met our match on paper, HyeonSoo…. the sweetest little face that melted our hearts from the first email and phone call.  Then we began to wait again… after five, then six years of marriage, the waiting continued, to have our son home.  Delays began; delays our minds expected, but hard. Indescribably the heartache weighed on our hearts to see the pictures of our son growing up so far away.  The hardest months were towards the end when each holiday past and each time frame that was predicted seem to keep changing. 

Then Christmas was approaching and we didn't even know if our son would be home before the end of 2011.  We will never forget the love and support of so many during this time- probably still unaware of just how many prayers were spoken for us and our son.  He made it home before Christmas, an answered prayer, on December 16, 2011, and it was the best day yet in my marriage… Probably the most nervous I have ever felt and the most joyful I have ever felt all at the same time.  The first night was the hardest and scariest and I will never forget my dear husband saying, “…we will get through this” (as our little boy seemed so scared and we wondered if we could really ever comfort him and if he would ever realize the love we have for him).  Knowing my husband’s heart this could only come from a deep belief and confidence in the faithfulness of our Lord.  It is this that will also get us through the years of ahead of us as well.

Today we see the wondrous works of the Lord in our home! It is so incredible to think that we started seriously praying for this little boy and his birth family, months before he was even born (began adoption process in Feb. 2010, HyeonSoo was born May 25, 2010 near Seoul, S.Korea, referral/matched November 16, 2010).  Josiah HyeonSoo is truly a God given joy.  As a little boy who left a home so far away… a home of love and the only family (amazing foster family) he knew for 18 months, he is adjusting phenomenally. We have our challenges, but when I think of all the worries and problems we could face, it is amazing to me how smoothly the transition has gone so far. He voluntarily gives us kisses and hugs everyday, calls us oma and appa (mom and dad).  His smile lights up our world. Over the past two weeks he has started saying, “I luuu…”  ( for I love you).  He looks to us for approval or disapproval (acts up like a toddler) and makes us laugh like we never have before.  He is curious, energetic, funny and fearless at times (thus the cast on his arm already). He is growing emotionally and on many developmental levels.  Our bonding as a family is a lifelong process and we know it will not be an easy journey; however, a thankful heart should be expressed and praises given.  The Lord heard our prayers and we know He was protecting our son during those months apart and most of all He has blessed us with a beautiful, loving, growing son.  One we will always be thankful for, one we will always cherish prayers for, and one we pray will know and worship the One who brought him to us. In whatever way he goes, we pray he leads others to worship our Lord.

May adoption not be feared or felt impossible for anyone considering such a journey! It has been and is a wonderful, life changing, blessed journey.  It is at times, the hardest experience and scariest; but in reflection of it all and staring into my son’s eyes, all the wait, tears, unknown, and frustrations, are beyond worth it. It is worth my tired days, journeying into new unknowns and learning to balance life as a new parent. I think this quote is fitting and describes much of the adoption process.  It is from one of my devotional readings today and I know they are words that we will have to hold onto as we move forward as Josiah’s parents, “When anxiety attempts to wedge in its way into your thoughts, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd.  The bottom line is that I am taking care of you; therefore, you needn't be afraid of anything.  Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will.  Though this may feel frightening-even dangerous, the safest place to be is in my will.” – (Devotion by Sarah Young)

Thank you to all who have supported, prayed for, and continue to bless our family!

“For with God nothing will be impossible.”- Luke 1:37

My Story Monday: An Adoptee's Story

I was adopted into the huge family of Larry and Jackie Bebo when I was 7-8 years old. I don’t know if I knew that adoption meant that I was now their kid and there would be no going back. My birth parents gave me the impression that I was only going to be in America for a little bit and then I would come back for them. So imagine my disappointment when I had to start calling “them” mom and dad. I think that was the most difficult part of being an older adopted kid. I already had a family, a mom and dad, but suddenly I was supposed to embrace these new people? This seemed silly to me. 

Many times I would yell at my mom that I wanted to go back to Haiti and God bless my mom, she was so patient in explaining that this was my home now. I remember one time though after yelling and crying about the same thing, she finally yelled back, “Fine, go home!” She demanded to know what was so great about Haiti anyway. Did I miss all the violence? I was so angry at her and that day harsh words were said and I decided that’s it, I hated her and I would go home whatever it took. 

After sitting in my room pouting for a couple of hours, my mom came and sat with me. At this point we were both exhausted and I was pretty much cried out. She then asked me to tell her about Haiti, what I missed about it, and she just sat there for hours listening to me. There came a point in my story when I felt like I couldn’t share with her so she gave me my first journal and told me to write it out. I spent all night writing everything that I could remember- the good, the bad and the ugly. In the morning, I handed it to her which was symbolic of me handing her my trust. 

My mom read my journal and she did the greatest thing any mom can ever do for a child. She cried with me. That day was probably the day my walls came down and “Jackie” became mom. We became thicker than thieves. Of course there were many conversations to be had, bridges to build, and I finally knew that I didn’t want to leave, couldn’t imagine leaving.

Adoption gave me parents that love me, many brothers and sisters who encourage and support me, and a future I could never have. If I were still in Haiti, the life I would be living would be completely different. I undoubtedly would have children and being a mom would be the only option before me. At eighteen, the world is my playground and I look forward to going to school, getting a degree, and exploring new things.  People who adopt don’t know the power they yield. You are giving a child a complete new world and experiences they otherwise wouldn’t have. Because of adoption, I am free to dream and free to be whoever I want to be.

My Story Monday: The Barton Family

If we say that our story is that we believe God gives second chances, then one might wrongly assume that our message is about giving kids from hard places their second chance at a “better life.”  And whereas we certainly hope that we are providing a better life for all of our kids, the point of adoption for us is that God showed us that family is not about blood, but about love. 

Indeed, over twenty-six years ago a divorced man and a divorced woman with a seven year old fell in love and became family.  Three more biological children over a span of eight years would seem to be enough by most standards.  But even before our now 18-year old son was eleven, we felt God telling us that our family was not complete and that we had a child waiting for us in China.  For various reasons, but primarily due to expediency, we elected to accept a waiting needs child.  In 2007 little two year old Adriana joined our family and instantly became the darling of four older brothers.  Although we thought we were done, we saw Aidan’s picture in 2008 and his gotcha day (2/23/09) was celebrated this weekend.  

The desire to stay connected to the adoption community and either help or learn from another family by sharing experience introduced us to Ava.  We saw her picture on AAC’s website in late 2011 and felt the tug.  “Really God, another child?” yet the answer was “Yes.”  Love is not like a blob of jelly that, as needed to cover the toast, it gets thinner.  Instead, love is like yeast which leavens bread and makes it grow through its own self-multiplication.  The second that we said “Yes” our love starting growing and the journey started developing.

My wife describes the journey as “alphabet soup” as each milestone is completed.  LOI (the letter of intent showing China that you would like to be considered for this child.)  PA (hopefully, you receive your pre-approval that China thinks you will pass muster IF all the paperwork is in order when submitted.)  DTC (the date your dossier is sent to China and a BIG DEAL for all parents who have gone this route, including us “old timers.”)  LID (the date that China logs in your dossier.  This is the date that you start counting from.  You memorize it and it becomes the date you refer to again and again to see where you are in the wait.)  Then comes your LOA (that precious paper that China sends asking if your will accept this child.  We find this ludicrous, as you have just spent months and countless dollars seeking this amazing child.  But, this paper is like gold so it is signed.)  Finally TA (after this beautiful paper arrives your agency makes your consulate appointment, visas are obtained and travel arrangements are set.  You are ready to get that child that your arms have been aching for.)

That’s right, our arms were aching for number seven.  Our arms were aching during the trip – more of a statement of poor conditioning rather than the emotional high that was to come.  First to Hong Kong Disney and then Beijing (Great Wall) to allow Adriana and Aidan to have some fun before the arduous “in province” part of the trip.  No longer than 30 minutes in our hotel room that a knock on the door told us that our family was growing again.  Last (?) but certainly not least, Ava was in momma’s arms.  Four o’clock in the afternoon in Nanchang is two o’clock in the morning at home, yet two of our older sons were on Skype to join the celebration.  Did they really have to ask why Mom was crying (as she has done at the “birth” of all our children)?  

Our arms ached as we played in the hotel room in Nanchang and as we stayed active in Guangzhou to complete Hague / US requirements.  Our arms ached now largely because our child was younger than what China had indicated.  We got a baby, not a toddler, but indeed it was the child that we had fallen in love with.  Our arms ached until we reached home – one day later than planned due to a missed connection in Hong Kong.  Finally, our arms ached as we hugged our other children who waited until midnight as our flight from Chicago to home was delayed five hours due to a snow storm.

The physical aches will come and go – we’re not getting younger.  The love, like the yeast in bread, continues to grow as Ava shows us her place in our family.  Time has taught us not to question God’s ways, so we can never truly say that our family is complete.  However for now, we are blessed and content, with peace and joy that seems heightened with Ava.

My Story Monday: The Cole Family

We began our journey to Zoe with AAC about 12 months ago.  But our adoption journey started long before that.  While my husband Robert and I were dating 12 years ago we sat down at a restaurant and chatted about our future hopes of what our family would look like someday.  We both expressed the desire to have children biologically and through adoption.  As the years went by in our marriage we were blessed with 2 beautiful boys that are now 10 and 8 years old. 

About three years ago The Lord put adoption strongly on both of our hearts.  Through much prayer and tons of research we both felt lead to adopt from China.  We came to realize there was a lot involved in adopting a child from China and it was going to be very expensive.  We had no clue where the funds were going to come from but we knew The Lord called us to adopt, so we knew that He would provide us all we needed.  After our application to adopt from China was approved by AAC we sent out fundraising letters to family and friends and we were so blessed and blown away by the support we received! We knew we wanted to adopt a girl as Robert and I have both always wanted a daughter and the boys wanted a sister.  The next big decision was to research and decide what special needs we thought we could handle.  On the special needs checklist AAC provided to us, we circled many we were willing to consider. 

On July 17, 2012 at 6pm we got out referral call.  As soon as we saw Zoe's picture I started bawling.  Robert and I both knew she was our daughter.  Zoe was born on Jan. 2, 2011 with a heart defect and had open heart surgery at 7 months old.  We were told she hadn't had any complications since surgery and was doing well. 

We left for our trip to China on January 4, 2013.  Our trip was good but challenging and exhausting at times. My mom accompanied me as my husband Robert stayed behind to work and care for our boys. 

 On January 7, 2012 was gotcha day.  As the nannies arrived at the Galactic Peace hotel, Zoe walked into the lobby dressed in a pink outfit with Garfield snow boots.  Her skin was so dry it was scabbed over and she had a horrible cold.  I was so thankful for the honey elixir cold medicine and lotion I had brought for her!  Her cold and dry skin was due to the fact that there was no heat in the foster home she was in.  As I took her upstairs to our room to bathe her and change her she just stared at me.  I'm sure she was so confused but I think she knew she was safe with me as we started bonding day one.  Although she wouldn't let me feed her a bottle during that first hectic day, by 7 pm that night she took a bottle from me! 

My favorite time with Zoe was in Guangzhou as her personality really started to shine through!  She's such a ham and total Girly girl.  She would dance in the hotel room when we would put music on, sing in Chinese, loved her baths, loved to eat and pack any sort of bag with all her toys.  She would wave bye-bye and say "bye" to all the hotel staff and she loved going up and down the escalators with mommy at the Garden Hotel.  This hotel was my favorite.  We could actually walk to shops and restaurants around the hotel!  Lily was our guide in Guangzhou and she was lovely and so helpful to us.

Today Zoe has been with us for almost a month and she is 25 months old.  We have faced some challenges coming home with Zoe learning to sleep on her own and what the word No means but we are making progress and she is sleeping through the nights most nights now.  She is learning what it means to be part of a family, to wait her turn for things as now there are 5 of us. As I look at her today while she's currently packing her Hello Kitty Backpack that her daddy got her, it's so amazing to me that God gave us the perfect child for our family.  Her brothers adore her as she does them.  She loves to go places and see all sorts of new things.  Adoption has been the biggest blessing in our lives and Zoe has filled our hearts with love and joy.  While the journey of adoption seemed long and tiring before bringing Zoe home, I now look at her and see the miracle she is and all that exhausting stuff fades away.

Children are a precious gift from God as they belong to him first before he places them in our care and I'm so blessed that God picked me to be Zoe's Mommy forever!

Alisa Cole

My Story Monday: The Reilly Family

Nearly two years ago, we began the journey to our daughter, Avelyn Grace. Adoption was something we had talked about  many times in our married life. We'd seen the miracle of adoption in our own family and the lives of our friends. As is the case so many times in life though, it's the greatest of tragedies that can inspire us, help us sharpen our focus on what's truly important. In 2009, our seven year old son passed away from cancer. A devastating loss, one we will live with for the rest of our lives. Our son lived with such courage and grace. Always giving love, always laughing despite his incredible struggle. Always choosing hope. It was his and our other children's courage during and after that time that really inspired us to listen to the path and plan that we believe was placed in our hearts by God; to have courage ourselves. So in 2011, what was once wistful thoughts about adoption shared between us, grew.  A seed, a dream, a prayer took root.

Our journey through adoption was not easy. We faced many of the typical and not so typical bumps in the road. Our first glimpse of our daughter came via Rainbow Kids. Pursuing her adoption meant switching agencies, meant taking very little time to review her file before Avelyn's scheduled return to the shared list just days later. But remarkably, even before we were fully able to view her file, we just knew. This was our girl! The one we had read books and blogs for, completed endless paperwork for. But more than any of that, she was the one we had been praying for. Now a beautiful and perfect face to put to the love we already had in our hearts. A little person all her own whose place was already so firmly a part of our family.

 

Many believe that when a family adopts they have somehow done this noble thing. But ask anyone who has adopted and they will tell you it's their child who has brought so much to them. Brought their own gifts, their own story. Brought lessons and blessing in every challenge and triumph, unique to adoption or not. Their child's story is oftentimes, in part, one of loss and grief but it's also one of remarkable perseverance, filled with love, courage and  hope. It's a story that our daughter will tell and define for herself one day far more eloquently and filled with her own truth than I ever could.

 

Now after the many long months of waiting are over, a month after our first meeting in a hotel lobby in China, our precious Avelyn sits playing contentedly with her toys while her Mama writes these words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sweet natured, quick with smiles, hugs and love, she has filled up our house with her little light. We are so grateful for her. To call her granddaughter, niece,sister, daughter..forever family. She is truly a little but very BIG dream come true~

 

 

For read more about the Reilly family's journey through adoption visit: http://thelifeofreillys.wordpress.com/