Our Life a Year After Adoption
Looking at pictures
of Korea together:
Me: Avi do you know
who that is?
Avi: Umma. (foster
mom’s name)
Me: Do you remember
living with Umma?
Avi: Yes
Me: Did you like Umma?
Avi: Umma not home.
Avi home now.
That little conversation took the wind out
of me like a punch to the gut. And it was just as surprising. But that
conversation sums up where we are now. I didn’t know she remembered
anything from Korea, let alone had feelings like that about her life. Everyday
she has more independent thought, creativity, and sensitivity to what's going
on around her. That kiddo never ceases to amaze me.
Today is our family
day, our 1 year anniversary of our daughter coming home from Korea. She had
just turned 2 then. I thought about this day a year ago. Life was so
crazy back then, it’s hard to believe I had the wherewithal to think about
something as minor as this one year anniversary. We were losing our
independence and our sleep by gaining a beautiful daughter. Despite all our
preparation, we had no idea what we were in for. I wondered what
our life would be like a year in. Were we going to be happy or regretful? Would
Avi be progressing well or would we be one of the countless horror stories I’d
read on the internet? It was such a huge, tumultuous change, I really
couldn’t have predicted what I’d be saying. Honestly, I thought with as
tough as things were going, could we possibly be in a good place? I wish I
could have known then what I know now. It
would have eased my worried mind.
I’m so happy to say
things are going great. Avi is nowhere near the scared upset little girl we
brought home. She’s having fun and smiles and laughs all the time. She’s
growing not only physically, but mentally by leaps and bounds. She loves
stories and swimming. She enjoys walking her bike around and tormenting the
cat. We love the way she makes us laugh. She's shared life lessons such as
“penguins are stinky, like my butt.” After a day at the zoo, I’m glad that was
the take home.
She is so outgoing and friendly to
everyone she meets. (with the exception of the kid she clubbed last week) She
finds so much enjoyment in everything we do together no matter how simple.
Happiness is effortless for her and that makes her a joy to be around.
When Avi came home from Korea, all of our
worlds were turned upside down. It wasn’t a bad thing, but it was
difficult. Avi’s best friend now is Lucy, our neighbor's daughter. She’s
almost a year younger. Now, two year old Lucy is Avi’s age when she arrived. It
amazes me the quality and quantity of thought coming out of her mouth.
Lucy comments on everything. I know all that was trapped inside Avi when
she came home. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must have been for her to
have all those thoughts and be unable to express them. It’s no wonder we had so
many meltdowns. But like all things, that passed with time. All
those thoughts have found their way out. Now the flood gates have opened, and
it's non-stop.
With as tough as this year was, all I can
say is hopefully next year will be as good as this one has been. If I had to do
it again, would I? Yes. Without a doubt, it’s been the most rewarding, life
changing thing Ann and I have ever done. Would I have done anything different?
I don’t think so. We’re where we are now because of every choice we’ve made,
both good and bad. And that place has turned out to be pretty great.
That good life presented itself
this morning as I was leaving for work. I told Avi goodbye as I do every day.
She came up to me, put her arms up and said “hug please”. I knelt down
and got a big hug with her head squeezed into the crook of my neck. After a
long hug, she whispered in my ear, “I love you daddy”.
Wouldn’t change a thing that brought us
here.
Not a single thing
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